So my birthday snuck up on me this year. I guess after 26 of them, they begin to become not so special. For some reason this one made me a little panicky.
Now, I’m sure a billion of you out there (I have a billion followers, right?) are rolling your eyes at me right now, but this is my blog so I can vent if I want to. and it’s my birthday, so I can cry if I want to, as well.
I liked 25. It still felt ‘young’. I think that has to do with the fact that I was still a ‘college’ student. In graduate school there was no husband, no mortgage, no career…but I didn’t feel rushed and things really didn’t feel much different from any of my other 20’s years.
Then 26 came along. I’m not sure why but ‘almost 30, almost 30, almost 30’ was streaming through my head the entire week. What?! How did that happen? I swear I was just 21 last year?! I blame it on the eternity of schooling that I subjected myself to. Maybe it was the fact that a whole plethora of ‘life-changing’ events took place between 25 and 26? I graduated with my masters, started my career as a speech therapist, planned and executed an almost completely DIY wedding (with the aid of awesome family and friends), bought a house, and moved….all within 6 months.
The day of my birthday, I’ll be honest, I was bummed. My perspective on that day was that the only thing I had really accomplished in life at that point was completing 20 years of school. Yowza. But even now, just listing the big events that happened last year, I know I have accomplished way more than just 20 years of school.
Sometimes I feel like God probably laughs at my narrow minded, ‘blinders-on’ way of looking at things with my simple ‘human’ perspective, and He is probably saddened when my worrying begins to consume me and my plans for myself interfere with His plans for me.
How could I ever think that my plans are or could ever be more perfect and awesome than God’s plans for me?
I thought I had familiarized myself all of the ‘anit-worrying’ verses in the bible (can you tell this is an issue I typically face?), but a little while ago I came across this one in Jeremiah. God said:
“Cursed is the strong one
who depends on mere humans,
Who thinks he can make it on muscle alone
and sets God aside as dead weight.
He’s like a tumbleweed on the prairie,
out of touch with the good earth.
He lives rootless and aimless
in a land where nothing grows.
But blessed is the man who trusts me, God,
and the woman who sticks with God.
They’re like trees replanted in Eden,
putting down roots near the rivers—
Never a worry through the hottest of summers,
never dropping a leaf,
Serene and calm through droughts,
bearing fresh fruit every season”.
– Jeremiah 17:5-8 –
Wow. I feel like that was absolutely written for me. How silly are we to think that we can do things, and hope to do even greater things, on our own and without God. All we have is from God. All we are is from God. My worrying is pointless, though I don’t think God ignores my worries. God does care about them, but what my hopes are for my future pale in comparison to what God can provide me with. Instead of trying to make it on ‘muscle alone…’ by setting “…God aside as a dead weight…’, why not trust him?! Simple, no?
Whew…it felt good to get all of that out.
Now, moving on. Let’s review the birthday festivities in photos, because that’s way more fun than a bunch of words.
Chris took me to get sushi the day before my birthday because I was craving it…and also we both had rough days at work so felt that somehow we deserved uncooked sea creatures.
I’m not sure what face I’m making here…I don’t remember tasting anything bad. Maybe this is a ‘please don’t take that picture’ face? not sure.
Then we went to dinner with a few friends. Again, we had sushi. I don’t know if it is unhealthy to have it 2x in a week, but I figure some people in other countries eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day of their life….so it can’t be too detrimental.
Chris tried to get a photo of my friend Kari (1st time sushi adventurer) and myself…and, as you can see below, he will never again be the one asked to take the pictures.
Some sweet girls from a small group that I help lead made me these amazing cupcakes.
My mom hosted a birthday dinner at she and my dad’s house on Saturday. It turned into a birthday/mother’s day celebration combined because Chris and I had a ministry event schedule for mother’s day (sorry mom, that was not my plan at all!). I tried to contribute, but my mom wouldn’t let me do much. She went out of her way to make it very special and it really helped me come out of my funk. I felt very loved, especially considering the fact that my mom recently underwent a life-altering surgery less than a month prior.
She used one of the umbrellas we used at the wedding, which I just now realized I never posted about. Haha, I guess that will be coming soon.
Birthday funk officially over. Family, and chickens, are good for that sort of thing.