Church · Faith · Family · kidney transplant · Life Changes · Medullary Cystic Kidney Disease · Words to live by

Getting my life back together.

Y’all. This week has been so good.

On Sunday my best mate Jessica drove down from PA to essentially help me get my life back together. Thanks to the crazy adventures in December and early January this year {Christmas kidney transplant, New Years surgery recovery, and Snowpocalypse resulting in school being cancelled for one thousand days} our home was a hot mess. It was as if every surface in every room had turned into that one chair that everyone has in their room where they pile clothing for 3 weeks before tossing it all in the wash. Add to that the fact that the kids still live here every day and don’t show signs of moving out any time soon.  We had quite a challenge to tackle. Fortunately for us, my mom has been coming over frequently to help keep our home livable and essentially manage my life since I can’t adult right now.  Also, Jess is superwoman and has a special skill called  ‘get it done’. My house is now manageable again thanks to the two of them! More than Jess helping with cleaning and organizing, I just so needed to be near her. She’s one of my people, and as such helps me heal just by sitting with me on the couch while we stuff our faces with ice cream and send funny memes to each other from one foot away. She also waxed my eyebrows for me because she doesn’t want to be seen in public with Chewbacca. also maybe because she loves me and wants me to be my best self. We’ll never know, but they do look fabulous.


We also went on a ‘quick’ {lol} Hobby Lobby adventure with Kelsy Lee {aka kidney sister} and Tiffany {my fitness guru and the reason I ever finished grad school}. I didn’t buy allthethings. Thank you Jesus for self control. Also to Chris for putting the fear of God into me regarding my medical bills. I keep forgetting about those little nuisances. Can’t a girl celebrate her new kidney and new life with some retail therapy at the crafting superstore?! Apparently not, because we also have to pay the heating and electricity bills. buzzkill.


Then this weekend Chris and I got to hang out with other leaders at our church. It was so fun and so needed. I’ve been in hiding for over a month now, avoiding public places because people are germy and germs mean bad news for someone who is immunocompromised. also ew.   I was hesitant to go, because germs, but also because of my issues with being prickly lately {read about my Prednisone rage struggles here}.  In the end I decided I really needed to try to get out of my hibernation cave and maybe even put on some real clothing. And by ‘real clothing’ I mean tunic tops and yoga pants with the waist pulled all the way up my torso, because a waistband rubbing against my incision ain’t happening. Maybe I should resort to a dress that doesn’t rub against any of my skin. Does this come in my size Lady Gaga?

lady gaga

And quick question, are the body guards included? I need some protection from the huggers and high-fivers out there.

In the end, Chris allowed me to venture out of the house and into the masses. I’ve been starved for real worship and connection with my tribe. There’s no substitute for getting together with others who love God too and want more of His goodness and grace and love in their lives. Unreserved praise, immersion in learning, growing as leaders. It was epic.





{This weekend’s activities made possible by: Thieves essential oils in the air/on the skin/up the nose, as well as my own pillow and blanket, and cleaning wipes on every surface in that hotel room. I ain’t messing around.}


I needed this weekend.  As of right now, one month into 2018, I’ve failed on so many fronts. I honestly have this nagging push that I need to be taking on even more things right now. Yet most of my ‘goals’ are still at square one and I want to scratch them off the list completely so I don’t have to worry about failing at them. Seems safer to not even try. Being lovely is so hard y’all. I quit.

Just kidding. All I DO IS WIN.  But for real, I left this weekend’s event with a renewed focus. It’s so easy for me to beat myself up right now because I feel like I’m not doing enough, that I am not enough because I am in this season of rest and healing and being slow and healthy {ugh, like a sloth or something}. And I find myself keeping a running list of all the things I’m not doing. Guess what y’all? We can’t all do all things and hallelujahpraiseGod he made us all different so we CAN’T all do ALL THE THINGS. If I’m striving to add something to my plate because I see another woman excelling with that particular bit of life and I want it for myself I am going to miss out on something awesome God really wanted for me. I don’t want to be distracted by things that are not for me. I want to focus on lovely and I can’t do that by adding additional things to my ‘list’; that’s just asking for failure. Instead I’m focusing on unclenching my fist around the worry and comparison I so easily cling to. I’m reducing my ‘I must accomplish this’ list. I’m staying small and simple. Searching for the quiet so I can listen to God and allow him to direct my actions.

If this verse in Philippians isn’t the definition of simple and the path to lovely, then I don’t know what is.

Philippians 2


Also, eating at Smash Burger helps too. Simple and lovely. Like God intended.


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