I’ve had a ‘good cry’ coming on for a few weeks now. Ever since I heard one of my closest friends is moving away in a few weeks. Today I just couldn’t hold those wet, soggy sniffles back anymore. Maybe it was the lack of sleep from snuggling a sick Peep all night, or I could possibly blame the tears on raging hormones {that’s pretty much always a given}…. but for sure it was today’s blatant reminder of what I am about to lose when she moves away. This morning she came over, dropped an iced coffee into my hand, snagged my almost 4 year old and dragged her along on their errands for the entire day so I could focus on snuggling my sick Peep, catch up on laundry, and maybe wash some dishes in peace.

She did this for me when she’s preparing to MOVE in 3 weeks.
Y’all, that is a GOOD friend.
Not just a friend, but a member of my home team. my tribe. she is one of my people.

(from Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist)

 
Change is hard for me…. like most humans, I’m certain. I know she and I will stay friends, but our friendship has no choice but to change, with 400 miles coming between us and our “let’s get the kids together so we can drink coffee and craft” days. We are the queens of mommy play-dates.
I’m contemplating laying in front of their moving truck when the day comes. Or at least slashing the tires to delay them a bit. Too much?
I’m feeling rather selfish and sad for myself because I’m losing someone I rely on regularly to just be there and somehow always be a step ahead of me in planning… anything {I seem to attract friends who literally GET ME THROUGH LIFE… or maybe I actually stalk them and just don’t give them a choice to leave me}. It’s hard to have a level 10 friend move away. They are difficult to replace. Not just anyone can step into that role. They are the ones that can invite themselves into your fridge and you don’t have to cringe at the thought of them finding something that isn’t food anymore. They are the ones that are paying attention to your kids at the park even when you aren’t. They are the ones that tell you straight up you need to tend to your unibrow. Though I’m sad, I’m also super happy for her and her awesome family and what’s ahead for them. New state. New home. New {chokes on sob} mommy play-date friends.
I know she’ll always be a part of my home team since, like she puts it, “it’s only a 6 hour drive”. And I’m sure she’ll still tell me straight up to get my brows cleaned up, regardless of the distance.  I’m thankful not just for her but for all the other members of my tribe too. Our home team is so essential to our family. We just can’t survive without you guys, even those that help in the most small ways. Those small acts {like bringing a coffee, or washing a dish, even distracting a child so some other task can be completed} add up to great love for our family. You keep our marriage strong. You help us keep our home open to the foster care needs in this area. You help us become better parents.  God has provided us with awesome people and it’s so important to our family to pursue being a home team for others. People need people. I hope you have people; but if you don’t, the first step is to strive to become the home team for others. You bring the coffee. You wash the dish.  You change the diaper. You send the text to check up on someone to make sure they’re surviving. You ask “how can I help?”. Before you know it, you’ve got a stellar home team to call on when you need them.