Jen Hatmaker

- Oh Happy Daze

Month 2: Spending

Welcome to month 2: spending.
Before I introduce the parameters for this month, I’ll back up a bit for those of you who are just joining in on the ‘fun’ {ha}.
I have been experiencing a little self imposed self-reduction after reading {and being totally changed from the inside out by} Jen Hatmaker’s book 7 – you can read about all that here. I am mimicking her experiment, just taking the components and tweaking them to fit my life {since I’m not her, not in Austin, and don’t have her awesome life… I’m dealing with my own kind of awesomeness over here, so had to shape the project to fit me}. For my first month I chose to tackle my excessive possessions. Ouch. I’m still hurting from it a bit. You can read about the beginning of it here. I journaled throughout the experience and cataloged almost everything I purged during the 2 months I focused on getting rid of the things that clog up my life {there were too many things to keep the experiment contained into just January, so February became Month 1b. I’ve added up all the days in January + my extra purging month of February = 59 days. Letting go of 7 things each day x 59 days = 413 possessions. Guess how many things I was able to get rid of? 583! Even if I hadn’t counted all the clothing and jewelry I purged my total would still have been over 413. I am shocked. And slightly disgusted that even after removing all of those things there are still things in my house. I thought 583 would look like more. I am feeling so much better, though. Literally less burdened. Less overwhelmed. Less distracted. If you are feeling weighed down by your things, do some Spring cleaning…. but read Jen’s book 7 first to get your heart in the right place. If your heart isn’t in the right place, you won’t make sacrifices. You won’t end up actually letting go of the possessions that are burdening you. You’ll just go through your stuff and get rid of extras {the stuff you never use, the stuff that is broken}. Freedom won’t come until you’re getting rid of things that you actually love too much. It is possible to love stuff too much. and it makes you sick. It’s time to let it go.
now sing this, you know it’s in your head anyway:
 
 
Now on to Month 2: Spending.
I did a little research on our spending habits.  On average, we spend money at 25 different places each month {different places, not repeat spending at the same place}. I’d say that’s a little excessive. For this month we have chosen to spend our money at only 6 places:

  • Farm Fresh {groceries}
  • 7-11 {gas, no coffee or snacks}
  • Online Bill pay {student loans, electric/water, mortgage… the usual “I’m an adult now” bills}
  • childcare
  • Walgreens {pharmacy}
  • Target {for random, emergency life needs only}

It sounds pretty easy. Well, since I have already been living these limitations for almost 2 weeks I’ve got firsthand knowledge – it’s not! It is so incredibly easy to just walk into a store and spend money. so easy. I had no idea I was so absent-minded with my money. Now, like my buddy Jen Hatmaker, I could sustain all my life’s needs in Target alone. During the next month, though, I am only allowed to walk into target to purchase an emergency item or for unforseen need: a gift, toothpaste, or {like today} to buy a pack of sposies since we ran out {I have a really hard time keeping track of the emergency disposable diaper stash we keep for random use, like in the church nursery, since we use cloth the rest of the time}.
Having such a limited arena for spending means we will be really cutting back. No playdates with the mom’s group that cost anything, passing on lunch for the coworker’s birthday, getting up early enough to make coffee at home instead of stopping at DD on the way to work, not buying the tools from Home Depot to re-caulk the tub until the month is done {the mold can wait another month, or six}.
ok and there’s a small confession rattling around in my brain that I just have to get out. I had a long day on Thursday {like 13 hours of work long}. On the way home from giving a lecture that evening I realized my stomach was practically eating itself since my last meal had been lunch. I caved. I visited a drive-thru and crammed fries and a burger down with minimal guilty feelings. It wasn’t an accidental purchase. It was a flat out refusal to follow the rules.  Whew, glad that’s over with.
Where do you find you spend most of your money? Will you participate in cutting down excessive expenses for this month with us?

- Oh Happy Daze

Month 1, Days 6 and 7

Day 6: Today I cleaned my vacuum cleaner. You didn’t really need to know that but my day unfolded very much like an “If you give a mouse a cookie” plot. Having your vacuum fail at its one job {vacuuming} leads to cleaning your vacuum, cleaning your vacuum leads to scrubbing the vacuum debris from your sink, cleaning your sink leads to washing the dishes piled up, washing dishes leads to freeing up your large 12 quart pot for boiling water to deep clean your cloth diapers, pouring the large pot of boiling water into your washing machine leads to exhaustion and thirst so you get a drink, getting a drink leads to realizing you have some ick in the shelves in your fridge, actually looking in your fridge leads to pulling out all contents of the fridge to clean and disinfect everything, etc. By 5pm I realized that I hadn’t actually sorted through an area of my house to purge anything {expired condiments from the fridge don’t count} so after Charlotte went to bed I dug around in the coat closet {where my day had originally started from when I pulled out my vacuum cleaner}. I discovered 11 tote bags, 5 unmatched gloves, 4 bags of old bubble gum {???}, and 2 wraps/carriers for what seems like long ago baby Charlotte, and several other odds and ends.
Today’s totals: 7 tote bags, 3 scarves, 2 hats, and 1 infant carrier {which will be going to a friend who is due with baby #2 soon} = 13. I’m not counting the bubble gum {again…????} or the unmatched gloves because I think that’s cheating.
Day 7: Today I tackled Charlotte’s bathroom and the linen closet. I pretty much threw away anything from under the sink in her bathroom. What is left now are a few dog grooming supplies, cleaning supplies for that bathroom, and a fire extinguisher. After a bit of emotional/mental wrestling I ended up putting a soap dispenser and a ceramic tissue box cover in the donate pile as well. I haven’t used them in over a year but it was difficult to get rid of them because my Nana gave them to us for a wedding present. In the end, though, I made a mental list of all the things I have from her/that remind me of her and prioritized them {The Christmas dishes that she hunted down for me and the Maine tourmaline she had re-set for me in a necklace that I wore on my wedding day right after she passed are at the top of the list… bathroom decor didn’t make the cut}.  The memories of her are more important to savor than any object… so I let them go.
The linen closet wasn’t so bad either, since I had only recently gone on a rampage through the medicine bins {my kidney doctor had originally speculated that it was a possibility that my kidney failure was due to use of Excedrine during my college years. Of course we now know differently, but I have purged almost all pain killers and medicines from our house as a result of doing more research in that area}.
Today’s totals: a lot of trash {mostly old cleaning supplies: I’ve recently simplified and green-ified our cleaning to eliminate chemicals}, 1 set of twin sheets, 1 muscle heating/cooling pack, 2 pillowcases, 1 tissue box cover and 1 soap dispenser, 2 hand towels = 8
This concludes week 1 of Month 1: Possessions. I knew it would be easier at the beginning because I have so many things to choose, it’s easy to pick 7 things to send packing {and most days so far I have purged more}. I’m exhausted, though. The first few days occurred while Chris and I were both off of work for the holidays. Easy peasy going through bins when your better half is keeping the grabby and destructive 16 month old occupied. Now that we are both back to work I have run into 2 problems: 1) time to sit and focus on purging each day is hard to come by, 2) more than once my purge piles and my keep piles have been re-arranged while my back is turned. “Was this to be donated? Did I decide to keep this? I should probably keep it just in case.” I have no willpower.
Just a note for all you folks out there who are joining me in this or keeping up with this just so you can see all of the wretched hoarding that is taking place in my home and then feel better about your own home: I have decided {as Jen did in her book 7} to restrict clothing purges to week 1. Let’s face it, I have so many clothes I could purge 7 items each day for a year and not run out of clothing. That may be slightly exaggerated, I did the math and that would be 2,548 pieces of clothing. I doubt if even altogether Chris, Charlotte, and I have over 2,000 items and accessories, but let’s just say that we do and run with that feeling of guilt deep in the pit of our stomachs.  The clothing issue needs to be dealt with, clearly, but this month is not just about beating my need for fashion awesomeness into submission. These next 7 months will be about battling excess in all areas of my life, with this month’s focus being on purging excess possessions. Not just clothing, a few nicknacks here and there or the usual ‘yard sale’ purge, but truly looking at the items I choose to surround myself with and making those things few, meaningful, purposeful.
Few. Meaningful. Purposeful.
 

- Oh Happy Daze

Month 1: Possessions

Give 7 things away.

every day.

for 1 month.

Sounds fairly simple. Unless you are like me and are a borderline hoarder/saver/keepsaker, then the thought of getting rid of something brings on a 5 minute internal dialogue and brainstorm of 20 ways you may find you need that very thing as soon as the thrift store pick up truck drives off with it. I did the math, 7 things gone each day this month: that’s 217 items gone from my life in January. Now don’t get me wrong, I spring-clean with the best of ’em at least once each year. This attack on the excessiveness of my stuff is going to be different, though.  It isn’t going to be another one of my annual clutter purges or a life-size tetris games as I try to finagle 5 hotel shampoos into the medicine cabinet. I typically abide by the rule: if it fits it stays. Well, not anymore. This purge will hurt. It needs to hurt. And I pray that every day this month I am cognizant of the reason I am doing this. Yes, I want a clean house. But more importantly, my accumulated possessions have become a humongous, crushing burden. I can’t move beneath their weight. My husband and daughter are also bearing the weight; to them it rears it’s head as a stressed out wife who can’t take a moment to enjoy her husband’s company or a momma who loses her patience over her toddler’s inquisitive ‘pull everything off of everywhere just to watch it fall’ nature. The biggest loser in this equation is me, though. Because becoming consumed with earthly possessions has unarguably pulled me further from God’s presence. God does not dwell in stuff. So if I dwell in stuff, and obsess and worry over it, then I must not be as close to God as I thought I was.
I chose to tackle possessions first in the line-up because I felt that this was one of the biggest areas that needed an overhaul. This was the worst offender. The one I could no longer sweep under the rug. Just a side-note, Jen chose to target food first. Also, in her book Jen tackles clothing in a separate chapter from possessions. I haven’t decided  what my plan of action will be when I get to the clothing month, but I know that I can’t put off purging my clothing until then, so I will be purging the majority of my clothing during possessions month. After all, to me, my clothes are one of my more important possessions. Seems right to just throw them into the purge right away.
I’m going to try and post about my purgings every few days {I don’t dare promise more}, but rest assured that whether I post or not, I am purging 7 things {or more} each day. There may be weeping and gnashing of teeth by the time this month is over, but I think  this purge will actually help me complete the other 6 month’s goals with some semblance of grace and organization. I made a list of every room in our house {garage and attic included}, and every storage space in each one of those rooms. All will be sifted through and widdled away to the bare bones by the month’s end.
Day 1: Today I cleaned out my dresser. ok, I’ve already lied to you. This actually happened on December 29th. I just couldn’t wait for the ball drop to start purging; I had the urge so I just went with it. Chris followed suit and we both spent the afternoon digging in our dressers and closet.  I made 3 piles {like my mama taught me}: one for donations, one for trash, and one for things that go somewhere else in the house. In our master bedroom we have 2 bedside tables, one long dresser, one tall dresser, small 2 drawer dresser under the vanity {which has no drawers…wa???}, 6 shelves and 3 hanging rods in the closet, + shoe racks on the floor. Oh, and under the bed storage {aka: nothing that goes under there is ever seen again}. I was only able to go through my dresser; I had to save the closet and other storage compartments for tomorrow. Chris sorted through his bedside table, dresser, and closet space all in that same amount of time.  He has always been {and I pray that he continues to be} a minimalist. Also, in my defense, his wardrobe is t-shirts and jeans… and t-shirts. oh, and also a few suits for work.
Today’s totals: 88 socks {that’s 44 pairs, folks!}. Honestly, I’m quite puzzled as to how that many socks could fit into my dresser drawer. Where did they all come from? Did I buy these? Did my pink socks mate with my zebra print socks? There was definitely a pair of pink zebra print socks, so that’s entirely in the realm of possibilities. We’ll go with that.  All of them, donated. That still left me with quite a few still in the drawer, maybe I’ll take a second glance through there again later. Also in the to-go pile: 14 dresses, 27 tops, 12 shorts/pants/skirts. A smidge more than 7 for today, I’d say.
Day 2: Today I got side-tracked from the master bedroom while taking down Christmas decorations. Out of the garage came 5 bins labeled Christmas. Again… Waa??? How on earth did I accumulate 5 bins worth of Christmas decor? I could not let this slide, so since they were already down from the attic I decided to delve in.
Today’s totals: I didn’t really count what I got rid of, but I managed to pare down to 2 rubbermaid bins, 2 ornament boxes, and a longer wreath box. Ok, I just did the math and that is still 5 boxes, but only 2 are large {all 5 were large to begin with} and one of the large bins holds our tree which is an adorable table top tree that was my grandparent’s and breaks down to a nice small size, perfect for shoving into a rubbermaid bin. I said bon voyage to many Christmas-y things today. If a snowman lover wanders into the thrift store near my house she will be elated to see a whole collection of nicknacks  waiting for her to take them home and never dust them. Also, I found an acorn potholder in one of the bins. Not Christmas-y, but it still went into the donate pile. Ain’t nobody got time for acorn potholders.
Day 3: Today I tackled the bedside tables in our master bedroom and my jewelry; one during Charlotte’s morning nap and one during her afternoon nap {have I ever mentioned how thankful I am for naptime}? The jewelry wasn’t crazy difficult to pare down. A lot of it had just been toted around over the past years but never worn. Some of it was broken or bent or rusted; those were the easiest to let go of. Those are the typical things you get rid of during spring cleaning. But I made myself dig deeper and give away more. If I had 2 pieces that were similar I made myself choose one, even if I liked both, because in all actuality I wouldn’t even have enough opportunities to wear both. I had 20+ pairs of earrings. Nothing expensive or nice, but to me this was a perfect depiction of excess. I literally wear the same 2 pairs of diamond or pearl studs every day. There is absolutely no need for me to keep any others other than a few dressier pairs that a friend made me. After all, God only gave me 2 ears.
The bedside tables were an adventure. I discovered my old lifeguard badge from my years working at Ocean Breeze Waterpark {Season passes on sale now!} and a journal that I started when I first found out I was pregnant with Charlotte. I wrote in it 2 whole times. There are probably no more entries because it was too hard to write while hunched over the toilet. Also, constant barfing makes for not-so-pleasant memories if a pregnancy. Also…. my retainer from high school. um… yuck. I’m not sure why I’ve been holding on to it all these years, like somehow my incisors will begin to recede back to a nice orderly state all on their own so that the retainer will once again fit over them and be able resume its ‘retaining’ duties? {sorry dad. If you’re reading this, I tried to wear it for as long as possible. Until college…. then it just didn’t fit with the look I was going for, which was super awesome cool girl}.
Today’s totals: probably 50 pieces of jewelry {earrings, bracelets, necklaces}. Most of the stuff in my bedside table went into the trash because it was unworthy of even a free roadside donation… like the 2006 Topical Islands flip calendar still in it’s plastic wrapping.
Day 4:  Jewelry. again. About 5 more pieces gone. Some of these pieces I L.O.V.E.D. I actually laid them out on my dresser and stared at them for a bit while I went on to some other areas. When I came back around to them I decided to give them away for several reasons: 1) I hadn’t worn them in 3+ years 2) the reason I hadn’t worn them was because the occasion hadn’t really come up. My life has changed, and my wardrobe followed suit. At work I wear scrubs, and if you wear any pretty, dangly or dainty jewelry as a pediatric speech therapist then you must be a straight up newbie. Our church is casual {jeans and sweaters kind of deal}, so no need to dress up that NBCC t-shirt with a string of pearls. I mean, my husband {who is the worship leader} takes his shoes off on stage if that gives you any indication. On may stay at home days, I’m a jeans girl through and through.  I don’t really see my life veering back into the direction it once was {when I wore formal dresses and business casual}. Gone with the old way of dressing up, gone with the accessories to go with the dress-ups.
Next, I tackled our vanity/sink area. Flat iron, see ya. Let’s be serious, flat hair was never really an option for me. This is a bit off topic but I did a google search for a photo of someone battling frizzy, curly hair to put in here for a laugh {haha, Ashley can’t brush her hair}. This is one of the photos that came up in my search for frizzy, curly hair:
tame-frizzy-hair
Google, you are promoting a phony. This woman does not have frizzy hair. Nor is it curly. And yet she is acting like she has gotten this brush tangled in her ‘lion’s mane’. No. This is not a woman battling with a rat’s nest of hair each morning. She simply stuck the brush up there and wrapped a few strands of her clearly quite tame hair around it for the picture’s sake. It is my duty as a curly girl to call her out on this. She could probably benefit from my flat iron though.
Today’s totals: I purged 8 more necklaces and bracelets + flat iron = 9
Day 5: Today is Sunday. Today I rested. Well, sort of. After church I rested, then I purged my ‘bathing suit bin’, then had some friends over for dinner and a play date with our kiddos. I don’t know about you guys out there, but I’m pretty sure I was Target’s #1 bathing suit section consumer between the years of 2005-2010. And I kept them all which required me to designate a whole container for just bathing suits. And most of them I would never, ever wear again, even if it was the last item of clothing on earth. Fig leaves would be more flattering than some of the bikinis I have been holding on to from when I was, ahem, braver.
Today’s totals: 10 hats and scarves, 6 bathing suits, 1 rash guard = 16
I’m exhausted. Earlier in this post my mind told my hands to type the word ‘pearl’, the screen read ‘pirl’. What?! Auto-correct didn’t even know what to do with that. So I’m headed to bed to have nightmares of moments when I suddenly need that very thing I got rid of this week.  Wish me luck!

- Oh Happy Daze

My own experiment in self-reduction.

My last post was a month ago. I have good reason people! Well, not really, but everyone knows the time between Thanksgiving and New Years is pure insanity. But I am so excited that January 2014 is here because this means the beginning of a little project I have been anticipating for a few months now.
Side note: glancing down at my shirt while I type… “what is all this crusted shmear on my sleeve and how did it get there”? Oh yeah, I have a kid. Moving on.
A few months ago I began reading a book by Jen Hatmaker called 7. She and her hubby Brandon are pretty fabulous writers and pretty awesome people in general. I keep telling Chris that if we were to move to Austin there’s no way Jen and I wouldn’t be besties. For real. {don’t worry Mom, God hasn’t hinted at a move for us any time soon… though if He does I’m pulling for Austin}.  The basics about Jen’s book {which I did not write, but so geniusly copied from her blog}: 7 – An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess – The true story of how Jen took seven months, identified seven areas of excess, and made seven simple choices to fight back against the modern-day diseases of greed, materialism, and overindulgence”.
Go buy it here.
This little project began as Jen’s “ticket out of nauseating consumerism”. She targeted 7 areas of her life {and the lives of most westerners} that were just “too stinkin’ much”:

  • Food
  • Clothes
  • Possessions
  • Media
  • Waste
  • Spending
  • Stress

“Seven months, seven areas, reduced to seven simple choices. I’m embarking on a journey of less. It’s time to purge the junk and pare down to what is necessary, what is noble. 7 will be an exercise in simplicity with one goal: to create space for God’s kingdom to break through. I approach this project in the spirit of a fast: an intentional reduction, a deliberate abstinence to summon God’s movement in my life. A fast creates margin for God to move. Temporarily changing our routine of comfort jars us off high center”. (p. 4)

Sorry Jen, I will try not to post too much of your book on here {go buy it people!}, but you just say things so nicely and bluntly, I don’t want to screw it up.
Folks, if you and I are truly honest with ourselves, there isn’t a single one of us that can’t benefit from embarking on our own social experiment to simplify our lives. Personally, I am quite embarrassed by the amount of stuff I have accumulated over the past 28 years on this planet. Yes I have a husband and toddler who have added to the mix; both require stuff, but nothing near the amount that I have taken upon myself to hoard… just in case.
Brace yourselves, things are about to get real. I am sick of living under the crushing weight of my possessions. They don’t bring me joy. They actually cause me stress and worry. The stress and worry seeps over into my marriage and into my relationship with my daughter. I feel overwhelmed with simple daily chores, because in order to actually get to cleaning and cooking I have to sift through/pile up/re-arrange possessions. By the time I’ve straightened up, I’m to tired or have run out of time in the day to do anything else. I’m tired. and I’m tired of holding on to these things. Not only do these possessions consume the time in my day that could be used for family, friends, God’s kingdom, but I constantly find myself wishing for more {a bigger home, a better car}. I am constantly putting time and energy into these possessions that fill my home that, to put it frankly, have absolutely no worth to God. Then why do they mean so much to me? The American Dream is truly a nightmare. The need for more is a poison that has infected us all. Now, before you hate on me for being judgy, just know that I am not saying we should all sell everything we own and join a commune {though that has crossed my mind several times. anyone with me? … crickets chirp}. And I will be the first to say that I am one of the worst offenders. For so long I purposefully turned a blind eye to the fact that I {we} are so rich. Just one more quote from 7:

“I was so blinded I didn’t even know we were rich. How can I be socially responsible if unaware that I reside in the top percentage of wealth in the world? (You probably do too: Make $35,000 a year? Top 4%. $50,000? Top 1 percent.) Excess has impaired perspective in America; we are the richest people on earth, praying to get richer… What does it communicate when half the global population lives on less than $2 a day, and we can’t manage a fulfilling life on twenty-five thousand times that amount?” (p.3)

Let that sink in. Seriously? I was actually in a little bit of shock after reading that the first time. and also the second time. Okay I’m still in shock. I probably shouldn’t be, since God has been working on making me more compassionate and less ignorant of the plight of others around the world for a while now. It began several years ago when God began making clear waves in my generally peaceful life; these were not giant squalls right off the bat, but little ripples that just didn’t stop {One of those ripples goes by the name of Kari, another is a hoard of ripples called The Catons}. God completely ignored my tendency for sea-sickness, the nerve, and has instead continued the onslaught of itty bitty waves that, over time, have completely changed the course of my life from what I wanted it to be to what He wanted it to be. I’m still surprised. Where am I? Where am I going? I don’t even know, I need a motion sickness bag. Having someone else in control, though, is honestly such a relief. I never ever never would have thought in a million years I would be okay with simply waiting around for a phone call from social services asking if we could take a child. That just didn’t fit with my plan. The good news is that I’m ok now with throwing out my plan. This experiment is another step towards accepting God’s plan for my life and letting go of everything else.  I’m not saying this will solve all of my problems. I’m actually pretty confident I may have to engage in repeated purges from each of the areas of this project. But it’s a start.
Just to make this post longer and wordier, I should add that Chris has also decided to take part in this experiment with me. One of the reasons we are both participating in this is our daughter, Charlotte. The more I navigate this journey called “parenting” the more I am thankful for the pretty stellar job my parents did in raising me. It wasn’t easy, for me or for them {As I’m learning now with my very own mini-me testing the limits each moment of each day} but one thing they did for me was show me God: in their marriage, in the way they spoke to me, in their priorities {to this day my father has never owned a new car and both of my parents are some of the hardest workers you will ever find}. My biggest focus at the moment is ensuring that Charlotte knows God. Not just that she knows who God is or hears the stories in the bible. I want her to see God at work. In her mom and dad’s lives. I want her to know why we give to the homeless, why we take other children into our home, why we don’t go overboard at Christmas, why we wear hand-me-downs, why we collected shoes for kids instead of collecting presents at a birthday party… Because we are called to love and not judge, to care for widows and orphans, to live out the ‘less is more’ lessons we’ve all heard a thousand times, and that the earth is God’s creation and we should try our hardest to save not squander it. I don’t have all the answers, and not one of these ‘good deeds’ is enough to fix the problems of this world alone… but It’s a start.
In Jen’s words, speaking about her children, my child, your children : “It is not too late to untether them from the lie of more“.
Each month I have decided to mimic some components of Jen’s personal experiences {which she outlined in 7, which you should go read}; however, I will be modifying her experiment to fit my life a little better, without making things too easy on myself. After all, the purpose of this will be an intentional reduction of myself, my stuff, and my way of life in order to make space for God, God’s stuff, and God’s plan for my life. God and I both can’t fit into this space called “my life” {especially since my head is so big with my poufy hair}; I must decrease so He can increase. I’m pretty sure that’s gonna hurt.
Month 1, January 2014: Possessions. Get ready.