A friend recently shared this video with me and I am so thankful that she did. It’s short and will take 2 minutes of your day, but I hope the take-away will stay with you longer. The narrator, very simply, discusses the difference between sympathy and empathy and why empathy has a ‘healing’ super power as well as the ability to form relationships, while sympathy drives a wedge between relationships. You probably know the definitions of both, but take a moment to watch this and engage in some introspection – do you use each appropriately?
I’m definitely guilty of saying “at least….”
I’m sorry to my friends who needed empathy and I quickly dished out sympathy. I didn’t know!
And I’m certain I’m not the only person who has unknowingly hurt someone’s feelings or who has attempted to rush in with a ‘solution’ to help a hurting friend. In reality, all they needed from me was my patience, my listening ear, and my presence saying ‘me too’ or; if I can’t say ‘me too’, then simple silence.
Month: April 2014
Boo to winter!
There are many reasons why winter is the yuckiest of all the seasons. I won’t dive into all of them right now {we all know the depths of its yuckiness anyway}; Instead, i’ll just continue to intimidate the weather with this chant and hopefully coax out more sunny, warm weather – “Heck no, stop that snow!”
In order to remain positive and uplifting I will skip over all the things I hate about cold weather and, instead, explain to you all of the wonderful things about warm weather {since you’ve been dying to know}.
1. I no longer have to take Charlotte’s big puffy coat off before buckling her into her carseat. Such a time waster {though a necessity – read what The Carseat Lady, along with other researchers, have to say about it}. It is just really annoying to put a coat on, walk to the car, take the coat off, buckle her in, lay the coat over top, drive, unbuckle, coat back on, etc. Most of the time I would just drape the coat over her like a blanket instead of putting it on her for the short walk to the car. I can’t imagine doing that with more than 1 child.
2. I’ve missed seeing Charlotte’s rolls. She has very few, but the few she does sport have been hidden under bulky winter clothes for too long. I am excited to see them and to be able to smooch on them whenever I want, since she is becoming less and less babyish evert month! Here she is at the end of summer last year; I can’t get enough of those baby rompers… they will probably be her stable garment this summer if I can get my hands on some.
3. The beach. That’s pretty self explanatory. The beach, and waves, and sun.
4. Grilling out. Yes you can use a grill in winter, but who really wants to?!
5. Not scraping frost/snow/sleet off your car in the morning or spending the first few minutes of your drive like a popsicle. First world problem, I know, but something I dread all winter long.
6. Being able to spend all day outside. We definitely have cabin fever here in the Baker home. I’ve exhausted my “how to entertain a toddler” links on Pinterest, from pompom sorting to a DIY ball pit… so I’m ready to just be able to let her run outside and explore!
What are you looking forward to this summer?
Too busy for words lately.
Well, not necessarily too busy for all words, but too busy to put words on the internet, that’s for sure. I know I’m not the only one, either. Spring never fails to bring with it a crazy, busy, never-ending schedule. This spring has brought along a lot of changes. I’m not so big on things changing, so it has been difficult for me.
Just to do a brief recap of our year so far:
- I started imitating Jen Hatmaker’s experiment in self reduction {2 months focused on limiting our possessions, 1 month reducing our spending habits}. I’m taking April off to give myself time to form a plan for the next few months…. also, I just didn’t feel like battling excess this month {see #2 for the most likely reason why I just can’t fit 1 more thing in}.
- I started a community garden. Prodded along by God, in what I can only express as an act of obedience… just followin’ along in his plan for my life and my family and changing my life’s direction along the way… no big deal. It is pretty much taking up all my time since I’m basically learning gardening 101 {and 201 and 301} in crash course form.
- A few calls for foster kiddos, though none had to be removed and placed in our home. For that, I am grateful. Better for them and better for us {at this moment in life}.
- This past week I started watching my bestie Tiffany’s little squish on my days off. We are swapping child care so that also meant a change for Charlotte. She had previously been doted on by my sister on the 2 days I worked each week. Things can’t stay the same forever, though, so we had to change gears. We dropped off a special gift for Auntie Mel last week as a thank you for being so awesome. I’m cracking up about Charlie’s expression in this photos… too cool for school! Thank you sis, for dealing with my baby’s cloth diapers, putting up with her dramatic theatrical performances when you tell her no, and wiping her banana residue face. We love you so much!
- Work has been pretty much on auto-pilot, which has been great. I never thought I’d say that, but it’s nice to be in a position to leave work at work when I head home. I still love my job and my patients to pieces and find great satisfaction in each little miracle I see in their lives.
- We have been hosting a community group in our home on Friday nights and hosting lunch with friends {and anyone who wants to stop by} on Sunday afternoons. We love it, but it was getting to be a bit much {though my kitchen has never been cleaner because there are always a few thoughtful kitchen fairies who would tidy up after a meal}. Chris and I decided to cut our big Sunday lunches down to 1 Sunday a month for now. We can’t go a week without seeing our community group family so that will stay as a priority on our Friday nights {If you aren’t in a community group/small group I’d say it’s imperative that you find one. I don’t think I’d make it through life without mine. Everyone needs a support system. If you feel like something’s missing in your life then my guess would be that close, meaningful relationships may be it}.
- My kidney function has remained stable {not declined since my biopsy in November}. I am currently still in stage III kidney failure due to Medullary Cystic Kidney Disease; I hope to stay at this stage for a long time. My kidney function will be tested every 6 months in order to gauge any decline. Once my kidney function declines to a certain point, I will have a transplant. For now it’s just a waiting game and I hope to be waiting as long as my mom did before she needed a transplant. This Friday marks my mom’s 3 year transplant anniversary. She is rockin’ and rollin’ with her borrowed organ and I am so thankful to Cathy for her gift of life to my mom.
- Probably the biggest news of all this Spring: I said no. To a friend. When I didn’t have an actual “well I can’t because” excuse. As I think about it, I don’t remember the last time I said ‘no’ simply because I needed to put myself first and not really because I had a valid reason for not being available. If it is possible at all for me to do it, I say ‘yes’. That’s not a bad thing, but I need to remember to also say ‘yes’ to my time and my needs.
Here’s to saying ‘no’ sometimes.
Also…. visit the garden website: www.DigGrowEat.com
and the Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/DigGrowEat
like it, share it, tell your friends.