Fighting for Lovely (+ my HOPE Spotify mix)

I’m now 5 weeks post-transplant. Things are getting better every day.  My new kidney is adorable and working like the energizer bunny, clearing my body of toxins and being all-around awesome. My kidney is, after all, only 24 years old, so I’m practically a ‘youth’ again. At my last transplant clinic visit I graduated to every-other-week visits!
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Only one new organ was added to my body, but it seriously feels like I got a whole new body. Everything is so different. Much of that has to do with the medications {they just barge in and jack stuff up all over the place} and some of it is simply what happens to the human body when you have major surgery…. like your eyelashes fall out and your hair gets a new texture. oh goody.
This past week I’ve been struggling with emotional side effects from my medication.
This is me on prednisone. The aggressive, irritable diva porcupine….
 

Now, please don’t take offense if you’ve spent any time with me this past week! I wouldn’t have let you near me if I didn’t want your company or conversation. You’re safe from my wrath. And if I did snarl at you, I swear –  it’s not you, it’s totally me. It is SO me and these drugs. They’re the worst. and also the best because they are keeping me alive.
To combat this aggressive porcupine thing I’ve got going on, I’ve been immersing myself in prayer and reading scripture because I want to make sure God’s promises to me remain in the forefront of my mind. Promises about who He is and who He says I am. I’ve also had my Spotify HOPE mix on repeat. Trying to let the words soak in deep. Fighting to stay lovely. I hope it helps you too, in whatever you’re struggling with right now.
{click on the little green Spotify button and it will take you to the Spotify register/log in page}

 
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Be Lovely.

I know of many people who adopt a ‘word’ of the year. It’s a little more simplified than having specific goals, but it’s a great way to keep your focus and determine your actions as your year progresses. I’ve yet to have a ‘word of the year’. I’m still old school and usually set goals or ‘resolutions’. However, if I’m being honest, I don’t think I’ve ever actually kept a resolution through an entire year. So that approach is not really working out for me too well. Admit it pal, you probably haven’t kept your resolutions either!
This year I’m trying something new. I figure, I’ve got a new kidney, why not go big and change a few more things? Instead of a word, though, I’m focusing on a phrase.
Several months ago I stumbled on this phrase and it’s been bouncing around in my head ever since. It just won’t go away; so I’ve decided to cling to it.
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adjective love·ly \ ˈləv-lē \

delightful in beauty, harmony, or grace. very pleasant or enjoyable.

Am I the only one who is craving this? I so want to be lovely. It’s not about appearance. It’s a label I want all the way down to my marrow.
I want the thoughts I think to be lovely.
I want the words I speak to my children to be lovely.
I want my husband to come home and look at me and find me lovely.
I want my interactions with strangers to be lovely.
I want my friendships to be lovely.
I want God to find the way I spend my days lovely.
Guess what though? I ain’t lovely! That thought is kinda depressing and the thought of all I need to change in order to be lovely is daunting. There is no way I can slap that label on my life as it is right now. Things are a hot mess. That’s where the first part of the phrase comes in, though. I am not yet lovely deep down where it counts. But I can be.
“She talked to God daily…” This is the only way to ensure my lovely isn’t just skin deep.
Proverbs 27:19 (NLT) tells us

As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.

And again in Luke 6:45 (Voice) we are told

A person full of goodness in his heart produces good things; a person with an evil reservoir in his heart pours out evil things. The heart overflows in the words a person speaks; your words reveal what’s within your heart.

If what is inside us isn’t lovely…. then what comes out of us through our words and actions sure won’t be. I want to make sure the content of my heart is lovely. Anyone can be lovely on the outside. But to be truly lovely it will come from inside. Bone deep. You can’t hide evil. You can’t cover up anger, or jealousy, or greed, or selfishness, or pride for long. Our true nature will always seep out in our words and actions.
What we fill our minds and hearts with will determine what comes out of our mouths and in our actions, whether we want it to or not. I’m choosing to be filled with what God offers freely for those who just reach out and grasp it. Those are the things He offers us that will make us truly lovely. Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Gentleness. Faithfulness. Self control. I want those things. Desperately. I think you do too. Yet it can seem so overwhelming when everything you see around you in your life seems to be the opposite: Anger. Impatience. Frustration. Despair. Loneliness. Fear. Sickness. Pain. Sorrow.
How do we chase after lovely when everything in our life seems to be the opposite of lovely? The same way we learn to do anything: spend time with the master. How do you learn to paint? Watch and read and practice and breathe all things from master painters. How do we change the content of our heart from un-lovely to all-things-lovely so it spills out into every facet of our life? Spend time with the one who created lovely. Watch and read and practice and breathe all things from the Master. {wink wink, it’s God}
be lovely
This year I’ll focus on guarding carefully where I spend my time. What I allow to enter my mind and heart through word or music or media. And I’ll spend time with God. Daily. In the words He has written us. Through the music I listen to. In prayer. and in simply waiting and listening for Him to move.
In essence, I hope that I will be lovely because everything that I’m made of, all my content, will be a reflection of God. The most lovely of all.
Do you have a word or goal(s) for 2018? I’d love to know so we can encourage each other!
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