Y’all. This is my jam right now. It’ll be playing on repeat. Forever.
“I am who He says I am.
He is who He says He is.
He’s not just reviving.
Not simply restoring.
Greater things have yet to come. “
I have been experiencing so many emotions over the past few months; they’re all tumbled and jumbled inside my head and my heart and it’s kinda overwhelming. I haven’t been able to completely process them all. And in truth, I may never be able to make total sense of this experience. Because it’s not really my experience. It’s a small part of God’s story. I’m not in control of this and no worrying or stressing will change that. Every day I see a new way He is my provision. Yesterday I was experiencing the tell-tale signs of a cold. And right now I’m seeing that illness diminish more each moment because God provided me with friend after friend after friend who brought me tea and meds and oils and diffusers and allthethings. Today I was worrying about my position at work {I don’t qualify for FMLA because I’m PRN}; and yet God provided an answer through a compassionate and fierce boss who went to bat for me. This afternoon a sweet friend brought me a hospital care package full of goodies and funny little notes to lift my spirit. And just this evening {literally as I was typing this} a friend brought Chris and I a beautiful card and money, which are so appreciated, but they also shared wise words when I was feeling guilty about how this is going to impact my children. God provides.
With only 7 days until transplant day, things are certainly becoming more ‘real’ in my head. I’ve noticed so much more anxiety creeping in. This. Is. Happening. I don’t want anxiety and worry to be my focus right now though; so I’m making sure the things I read and listen to and see are reflections of God’s goodness and light, not the darkness I want to focus on. If we want something to flourish in our life, we need to feed it. If we want to be more generous, then we must spend our time steeped in the one who demonstrated ultimate generosity. If we want to be joyful, we must surround ourselves with the one who created joy. I want peace in this stressful time, so I’m being purposeful in filling my mind (with what I see and listen to and read) with things that highlight God’s goodness and love for me.
I am no victim
I live with a vision
I’m covered by the force of love
Covered in my Savior’s blood
I am no orphan
I’m not a poor man
The Kingdom’s now become my own
And with the King I’ve found a home
(And with the King I have a home)
He’s not just reviving
Not simply restoring
Greater things have yet to come
Greater things have yet to come
He is my Father
I do not wonder
If His plans for me are good
If He’ll come through like He should
‘Cause He is provision
And enough wisdom
To usher in my brightest days
To turn my mourning into praise
I am who He says I am
He is who He says He is
I’m defined by all His promises
Shaped by every word He says
I hope it brings you encouragement and hope when you listen to it. I hope it gives you a glimpse of our God and His love for you. He is provision. He is wisdom. His plans are good. What relief that we don’t have to wonder about tomorrow. I’m defined by His promises.
Xoxo,
Ashley